This Year

I’ve sat down a couple of different times now to write this post without any success. There is something about this time of year that always seems to leave me feeling like I don’t have the ‘right words’ to articulate my feelings about the season. This year seems to be no different, however, i’m going to give it a try.

The joys of this year, so far, have come as Christmas and our new marriage have begun to intertwine with one another. It’s been a surreal, challenging, remniscent and magical. For this, i’m thankful. Even better, the holiday itself has not even arrived and yet we have already made some wonderful memories. To name a few :

- Putting up and decorating our first tree (a leftover from my college days but our first nonetheless!) To use our resources and incorporate reminders of our wedding, we filled out the tree by wrapping it with leftover satin chair sashes and skirting the base with my bridal pashmina. Still working on a tree topper idea….

- Going Black Friday shopping in Kansas City from 11:30pm-7am all so we could pick-up some great gifts for our family members. Black Friday fell just days after Jordan left his job (more on this later in the post) and the bargains this year were definitely worth the sleep deprivation. This night/morning also served as a true test of teamwork and love. “Divide and conquer” was a motto we quickly adopted!

- Running to Aldi with only 15 minutes left before close to stock-up on baking supplies when we had an urge to give some recipes a try.

- Watching ‘Rudolph’ on ABC’s 25 Days of Christmas (an annual favorite during December) and talking to each other in all of the character voices for the rest of the night. Our neighbors probably thought we were crazy but we definitely got a good laugh.

- Finding an ‘our first Christmas’ ornament dated for 2011 among my old decorations that we didn’t purchase… It’s still befuddling (or magical), that an ornament neither of us purchased was found amongst a bag of decorations that had been packed away for over a year. Maybe someone knew this would be our first Christmas before we even did….

- Giving each other an early Christmas gift because my feet were freezing at night in our house and Jordan knew he had slippers for me hidden in his trunk and I, well….I just didn’t like any of his winter ‘pjs’ (if you can even call them that), so new purple and black plaid pants it was! Plus, these accessories have made our cozy, tree-lit, hot cocoa- filled weeknights even better.

Yesterday marked two months that we’ve been on this this fabulous, lifelong journey called marriage. I’m so thankful God created me for J. Most days that thought alone is enough to take my breath away.  It’s the same feeling I get when I look at pictures of us from when we were little. Jordan, in Georgia and me in Illinois, born only 13 days apart and experiencing most of lifes milestones at the same time, just not knowing it yet. Our tendencies and means of exploration as children are very much the same today in our adult life and I enjoy thinking about the context of each childhood photograph and how we will remember and recall the moments captured in a photo today, 20 years down the road.

After moving our living room furniture and getting dressed up (for the sole purpose of taking these pictures), we employed my self-timer and did a holiday session at home to capture “Our First Christmas”. Who knows what our kids will think someday when they look at these. They’ll probably say something like “geez, mom was as crazy then as she is now and dad still just goes with the flow” :

Beyond the newness of this year’s season and all of the ‘firsts’ we have been celebrating, there has also been loss and transition which adds a bittersweet feeling to a time of the year that already flurries with emotion. Last weekend J, Mom, little pip and I all headed to St. Louis to lift up Grandpa Clem’s memory and spirit in the form of good ole’ holiday cheer. He left us two and a half months ago but I know my heart will ache his absence fully this month as I am reminded of him with every singing store display and tacky Santa hat I see. The man loved Christmas and everything that came with it. I can still remember getting out of the car as a kid after the five hour car ride from Kansas City, only to be startled by Grandpa yelling ‘hello’ from the ROOF. Light up baby Jesus had to get up there somehow, after all….

Well, grandpa, you’d be proud. Over seventeen of your crazy family members gathered last weekend and knocked out 300 buckeyes and a couple hundred sugar cookies for you. I don’t think the buckeye chocolate dripped down the side of the house while they were drying but I can’t say that the kitchen carpeting didn’t take a hit. Also, like always, people gave up on sprinkling and icing the cookies long before all the dough had been used. Don’t worry though, we rallied and got them decorated.

 

You were right there with us. Everywhere we turned, there were little reminders…….

Oh, and you can probably see it from heaven but in case (by some miracle) you missed it, the front porch also got a Christmas makeover:

It’s funny how life shows resolve in the face of trials, even when we sometimes don’t feel like we have any resolve left within us. This thought has been tumbling through my mind this month. One of the beautiful and complex things about the Christmas season is that most of us have traditions that keep this holiday consistent and predictable from year to year. This ‘snapshot’ effect, however, can make change, loss and transition painful and challenging. What a blessing, in moments where we feel emptiness over joy, that our hearts can turn to the true reason for this season. Christ’s birth changed everything and brought redemption into a world thirsty for a savior. The promise we receive in Him is like nothing this world can offer and for this, I am oh so thankful.

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To wrap-up for tonight, here’s my promised mini-post on playing with heart bokeh! This works best if you have a 50mm lens. Also, I made my bokeh cap the simplest way possible, please feel free to be neater in your endeavors

And voila, Christmas (heart) bokeh to add some fun to all of your holiday light photos

Much love to you and yours, have a good weekend!

in Him,

Laura